Not ANOTHER post on how to be happy. You're thinking that here's another post about how happiness is found in appreciating the little things, in relishing the beauty of a rainbow after the rain and the laughter of children. How happiness that is obtained through materialism is superficial happiness. Yes, all these things are ways to attain happiness. However, this post is not about attaining happiness...this post is about just being happy.
1. Balance vs Perfection
Everybody wants to be perfect, nobody wants to be balanced. This statement, as succinct as it is, could not be more apt to describe our world.
According to the dictionary, perfection can be described as "the state or or quality of being perfect." Synonyms include - flawlessness, the ideal, the paragon, the ultimate.
On the other hand, balanced is defined as "a state of equilibrium." Synonyms include - well-adjusted, level-headed, realistic.
Many a times, people aim to be perfect in all aspects of their lives. It is impossible to be the ideal, the paragon or the ultimate. It is however possible to be well-adjusted, level-headed and realistic. Whether it be attempting to be the perfect mom, the perfect career woman, the perfect wife or even the perfect cook, everyone has some ideology of perfection that they are hoping to attain. Aiming for perfection is setting yourself up for failure. Human beings are simply just that - human. We are prone to mistakes and we are flawed. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. Perfection is unattainable, but becoming a well-balanced individual is a dynamic and realistic process, it is something we attain by constantly striving towards.
I once read one of those quotes that I will never forget - "Someone else is happier with less than what you have." No matter your circumstances, there is always someone worse off than you. Be thankful for what YOU have been blessed with and quit comparing yourself to others. There is no such thing as being "The Best." There will ALWAYS be someone either more beautiful, more intelligent or more successful, if not by your standards than by someone elses. Happiness is not achieved by striving to be the best. Quite simply, if you aim to be THE best, you will never succeed, but if you strive to be YOUR best, you are well on your way.
3. Wake up every morning and make a simple decision - to be happy
If you wake up every morning and make a conscious decision to be happy, your day has already begun on a good note. Begin by making an effort to change your negative thoughts into positive ones.. Once your frame of mind has been changed, half your battle is won.
5. Don't try to keep up with The Joneses, They do not exist.
Perhaps the notion of perfection comes from our perception of others. We perceive others to have the perfect life - whether it be the perfect husband, the perfect kids, the perfect bank balance or the perfect career; we too try to have the "perfect-everything" and so we try to keep up with the Joneses.
The Joneses do not exist. For the simple reason that no-one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect life. The grass is never greener on the other side - it is the rule of nature that when a person has something in one aspect, they lack something in another. Remember, when you're feeling down and out, there are people who think that the grass is greener on YOUR side.
6. Allow yourself to make mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. EVERYONE. So if you make one its not the end of the world as you know it. If you eat a slice of cake even though it's not cheat day, it is okay (just don't eat the entire cake!) If you misdirect your anger once in a while, it is okay. Don't be so hard on yourself, the rest of the world is hard enough on you already. Learn to forgive yourself. Accept your mistakes, learn from them and then move on.
7. Do not let others define your happiness
Happiness is a personal thing. It is about YOU. Do not let anyone else tell you what should make you happy. No matter what you do, people are bound to judge, it is the nature of people to do so - you either put too much makeup or put too little, you're either too skinny or too fat, you're doing it wrong for being a working mom or you're doing it wrong for being a stay-at-home mom, you're too introverted or too extroverted. It's always going to be one or the other. So do what makes YOU happy and love yourself first...others will follow.
8. Happiness is a journey
Happiness is not a destination. The notion of "if only" should be removed from our minds.
"If only I could lose 5 kilos, I would be SO happy."
"If only I could find the perfect job, I would be SO happy."
Be happy now. Not when you lose 5kg, marry the man of your dreams or have an amazing career. If you see happiness as a destination you will always be in the pursuit of happiness and never actually happy.
I leave you with an intriguing quotation and my inspiration for this post ...
Positive vibes & The Mandatory xoxo
Hali
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